Criminal Report

            A flurry of both steamed and fried rice lay scattered at the scene.  Eyewitnesses reported seeing a double order of Crab Rangoon’s on scene at the time of the incident; however, authorities were only able to recover four of twelve.  Remnants of the other eight were tossed across the countertops and crunchy end pieces lacking any filling had been hastily dumped in the trash can.   The two perpetrators had clearly been in a hurry to get away.  A phone suffered minor injuries from an order of orange chicken, but once tended to the injuries appeared to be superficial, a result of scooping too much sauce at one time.  A neighbor reported seeing rice flying through the air.  A truffle chocolate cake witnessed the attacks, but was unable to assist.  It appeared that one piece of fried rice attempted escape up one of the perpetrators sleeves, but was caught and flung aside, in a chilling act of cruelty.  It was also suggested that two egg rolls may have been on scene, though there was no physical evidence to support that theory.